1. The need to be right.
When I was young, being wrong invited ridicule. We’re social creatures. Ridicule doesn’t make you feel good at all. So naturally, I did everything I could to be right – even when I was wrong.
2. The need to control everything.
Being controlling again is to a degree a pretty natural thing to do. When we control our environments, we can control our destiny. At least to some degree.But sometimes we step over the line with our desire to control. We control our families, our coworkers, even our friends. When we let go of controlling so many aspects of our life and let things happen organically, it’s a lot of stress off your shoulders.
3. The need to blame.
This one is similar to being right. We all mess up sometimes.
There’s no getting around it. We can accept that we messed up and move on, but it deflects attention from our imperfections to blame someone else. We aren’t naturally that cruel.This behavior again stems from our peers ridiculing us for our imperfections. You don’t need to impress everyone though, in fact, I bet you’ll impress more of your peers by owning mistakes.
4. The need to complain.
Complaining feels good! When something is bugging you, it’s great to get it off your chest. Complaining without taking action to fix a problem, however, is useless and brings down your energy.Negative energy often makes problems worse, which brings down your energy more. Vent, get it off your chest, but form a game plan to fix problems.
5. The need to label.
Racial, sexual, religious, and philosophical labels are everywhere. Humans have a deep desire to belong, so we pick up on trivial differences, label one another, and then cling to the label that works best for us.This only serves to divide us and creates not just unhappiness in ourselves but unhappiness in our societies.
When you let go of the need to label, you begin to realize that each of us are human beings that feel approximately the same feelings and think about the same things.
We experience the world the same way.
So when we can let go of the need to label, as well as pointless complaining, blaming others, controlling everything and always trying to be right, we’ll find ourselves much happier people.